First and foremost, thank you, Jesus.
Thank you for creating us to be these intricate beings.
Each one of us has a unique soul designed by you and gifted a body to walk through life with.
To live and to love.
I am sitting here watching Martha nap making sure she is able to sleep without coughing too much before walking away.
And remembering my fear of last night. What if I give her too much medicine, what if her ADEM is coming back, what if it’s permanently taken a toll on her at such a young age? She’s had slight regression for a solid amount of time now, nothing drastic just slight, but what is that, and why? What if she had so much medicine at such a young age her body builds up immunity to it?
What if Lord, followed by a panicked prayer of something’s not right fix it? Help her to breathe help her to stop coughing. Please Lord DO something.
The no longer sleep-deprived momma who’s had her coffee and enough sleep if ya count all the hrs now has a moment to reflect and apologize.
She’s made it through so much of course the Lord is doing something.
She may have setbacks and minor issues. But she also has the Lord on her side.
Sometimes we take for granted what we have. The blessings, given to us. What have we given in return? We have a roof over our heads, we get groceries every week, and we have health care even if health coverage is expensive. Our family hasn’t had the experience of the loss of a baby or childhood cancer. Lord help me to remember to pray for those who have when my what if’s find me in the middle of the night. Help me to remember to trust in you and that even though we don’t see your ways sometimes because we don’t have the full picture. Remember whatever your will, it brings us to eternal life.
Thank you Jesus for this life and all of its joys and sorrows.
For all of the trials and for all of the beauty.
Hold tight Lord those who are experiencing the what if’s and the why me’s.
Hold tight to the ones who are struggling to see you in this world of chaos and unknown.
May they find the one known thing. That you Jesus were sent by God to live among us and to die for our sins, having not sinned at all yourself.
My prayer today is that people seek you and build a relationship with you so that when they get the what if’s they too can seek you and hold tight to the promise you’ve given in eternal life.
No matter the trial here on this earth one day we will all be free of the pain and suffering and with you in a better place!